Intensity-if only I would quit trying to stand when I should kneel.

Life can feel quite intense sometimes.  I sometimes wonder if the bible with all of it’s really awful stories of life’s challenges is not simply meant to remind us that our first world problems really are just that.  The trouble is that when a problem is at its full intensity it does not always seem like an FWP, even if it is.

I wonder at my temperament for this calling because I feel sucked in sometimes by the vastness of intensity.  I need to get better in allowing the intensity to blow past me and simply share the agape love. In the past few days I’ve done better and worse with both in dealing with late teen early 20s people.

The first is about a break-up.  But more so its about trying to assert adultness while not actually taking adult responsibility.  Its also about trying to assert control which is of course an illusion.  While listening to the particular young person it’s a challenge to stand back, take it all in, and not buy in to the narrative.  The narrative is itself a fabrication, and not the truth, but rather the preferred narrative of the teller.

The second is about death and mortality.  However, in this treatable though difficult situation, mortality is being drawn closer by the young person because they’ve narrowed their mind in their grief. Medical non-compliance and depression have completely narrowed their world view and created a self-fulfilling prophecy of doom. The narrative is itself an obfuscation, and not the truth, but rather the preferred narrative of the teller.

As I listen to the intensity of both of these young people trapped in a reality of their own making I want to smash in like the incredible Hulk and rescue them.  But I am not He.  I also cannot force them to turn to Him.  And in this frustrating impotence I must remind myself that my intensity too is something He can solve if only I would quit trying to stand when I should kneel.


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