I have been holding back. Apparently I was still lacking faith, because I somehow got sideways of Jesus and myself in these past few months. I have realized that I’ve been feeling inexpert and indeed I am at many things theological. But today, today is not the day I have to be a theologian. Right now I have to make it through discernment, and in this I am the expert. I am the only expert in exactly what God is doing in my life. So when I hold back in the tide of thoughts about my discernment I really am doing myself and the committee a disservice. That little epiphany has rather changed my thoughts and revitalized my connection with the Holy Spirit.
I’ve been talking more in the past few days, taking actions, being the person I have always been but with a newer supercharged voice which seems to have some weight. It feels much better. It’s nice to have found my voice.