Today my discernment committee will present it’s final report to the vestry. This is again a process of steps and checks. Between the Priest the Vestry and myself there will be another round of reporting which goes to the diocese and the process essentially begins again.
Discerning it seems to me is a lot like the liturgical year, a series of build ups leads to a culminating event, which then cycles back and starts anew. Each time carrying us forward, different, yet the same. Older, certainly. Perhaps wiser, perhaps stronger in faith, perhaps more enabled in ministry, but changed.
The biggest change for me has been acceptance. I really really had to accept that this calling was real. Faith is one thing, I had that from the first. I knew this was a “God-thing.” But being called and accepting that you have been called are two very different things. I now accept that my own thoughts and plans are quite trivial compared to God’s plans for my life. And I accept that my thoughts and plans though well meaning weren’t quite right in the way that God’s is. His plan now infuses my thoughts and I pray and listen much better than before (although I confess I still have far to go).
May HIS footsteps guide mine ever further. Amen.