Plants, you may know, grow their stems and leaves in such a way that a flexible network of cell walls exist between the cells. The roots absorb soil water and nutrients and the cells fill. This creates a pressure inside of the cell which pushes against the wall creating a flexible yet stiff whole plant. That pressure which holds the plants upright is called “turgor pressure.” When these plants are deprived of water, the pressure lowers and the plant is seen to deflate or wilt.
For months now I’ve been working on this discernment process, carried forth by an inner call, standing a bit taller and more aware. But this past week, I must admit to wilting.
Perhaps it’s that the COM won’t meet me until February, perhaps it’s that I’ve had a bit of exposure to the ungracious nature of some, perhaps it’s the crash of reality that says sure you have a higher calling, but you also have laundry, and kitty litter. Whatever the case, I have found myself doing dubious things with my thoughts. Like being jealous of others who are able to serve in the here and now when I still have to go to my day job.
Praying for a deeper tap root to strengthen me.